I should have said something, but my mind went blank. I knew I looked stupid right now, but I couldn’t help it.
‘You think I’m cool? ‘Did you say you were jealous?’
Kang Ha-jun said that he wanted to be like him, but I couldn’t help but think nothing of it. In all his life, Eun-yul had never heard such a thing.
Even though he worked hard, people pitied him and tried to treat him well. Everyone was always looking down on themselves.
Because I have no money. It was because the world was divided into classes based on money and power, and he was not that high of a person.
Still, it didn’t hurt my pride or anything. I grew up as an orphan as soon as I was born, and lived a life that was like pouring money into a bottomless pit, but now that I am living a satisfying life where I can meet Haneul and my grandmother and feel the warmth of family, I thought there was nothing more I could want. However, Kang Ha-jun’s words broke Eun-yul’s heart mercilessly.
I guess what I wanted to receive until now was recognition, not sympathy.
Eunyul put down her fork and picked up a glass of water.
“Why is it so hot here?”
I was thirsty, so I took a drink of water and looked around, when Kang Ha-jun called an employee and asked him to open the window.
Now that it was fall, with a fairly cool breeze blowing even during the day, Eunyul’s flushed face was quickly cooling down.
“Summer is now over.”
When Eun-yul started talking, Kang Ha-jun continued to eat his food without answering. Once he can talk, it’s not too late to continue.
However, Eunyul deliberately avoided conversation until the meal was over.
* * *
“Oh my, I’m surprised. “What?”
Im Bong-sun, who came into the kitchen after Haneul had taken a nap, grabbed her heart when she saw Eun-yul curled up in the corner.
“I thought it was a cockroach the size of a king. “What are you doing?”
“You can’t have cockroaches in the restaurant.”
Eunyul crouched even further and muttered. Lim Bong-soon, seeing his round back, secretly lifted the ladle.
“If the scum you’re talking about isn’t a cockroach, then what is it? “When did you come here?”
“Now.”
“Let’s not talk.”
Lim Bong-soon picked up the ladle and put it back down after seeing Eun-yul’s sullen expression.
“What are you drawing?”
“grandma.”
“why.”
“Am I cool?”
“I’m shaking like crazy.”
“Yes? “No one thinks of me like that.”
Lim Bong-soon, who was swearing as usual, looked at Eun-yul as if he were strange in his reaction, as if he was about to dig into the ground.
There needs to be someone who accepts the curse in order to make it sound good. In that sense, the guy who used to take my criticisms with ease, today he just looked dull and it was no longer fun. On the contrary, I felt slightly worried when I saw that there was some lack of energy.
“Not everyone thinks I’m cool. “I’m a cute, friendly, and lovable kid.”
Im Bong-soon thought about swearing again as he naturally said the compliments that would have been reserved for Haneul as if they were his own, but held back for now.
“It’s just like that… … “Why did you say that to me?”
“Say it so I can understand.”
Now that it has reached a point where it is no longer possible to understand just by listening, Lim Bong-soon squats down in front of Eun-yul. Of course, since my knees hurt when I just sit down, I brought a chair that was close to Eunyul’s hips.
“Kang Ha-jun says I’m cool. “I want to be like you.”
“Does he owe you money?”
“I’m in a situation where I have to live on my own.”
“I see.”
Lim Bong-soon nodded as if acknowledging it for a moment, then cited another reason.
“Aren’t you working because of the sky?”
“My grandmother is 50 years older than me, but I don’t know what work means… … “You know.”
Eun-yul, seeing that the ladle was still in Lim Bong-soon’s hand, secretly changed his words. Even though she was depressed, she could see what she was holding in her hands.
“Anyway, it’s hard to say it’s because of the sky… … Yes. Is it because of the sky? “Did you say that to impress me?”
As Eunyul tilted her head again, wondering if that was why, Lim Bongsun clicked her tongue.
“Don’t act.”
“… … Honestly, the eyes were too sincere for me to say it because of Haneul.”
Eunyul felt as if she was completely entangled in those upright gazes that were only looking at her. Because I had no choice but to know that he was telling the truth.
“Did you fall for that cool thing?”
“I’ll skip it. just… … Other than my heart fluttering for just a moment, there was nothing, nothing… … therefore… … .”
“It passed.”
“It’s not like that.”
“No, do you think it’s because something big is happening that you’re missing out like that? “Everyone goes crazy with just one word or look.”
“No. And even if it goes away, it’s still weird. What do you mean by cool? … .”
“I guess you’re weak to that.”
“… … .”
Lim Bong-soon, seeing Eun-yul’s red face, stood up. Now it was time to start the evening business. She said, pouring out side dishes one by one in her side dish bowl.
“Do other people just feel sorry for you? I think I need to feed you too. To others, you are that kind of guy. “The harder you live, the more you will be treated like that.”
Eunyul stood up shakily at Lim Bong-soon’s cold words. He prepared the evening meal with Lim Bong-sun, putting freshly cooked rice in her rice bowl.
“But if someone thinks you’re a really cool guy, guess what?”
“that… … .”
Eunyul wanted to say something, but in the end she just lowered her head.
“I told you that you were a good enough guy, so there’s nothing to think strange about it.”
The conversation was interrupted by Lim Bong-sun picking up a spoon and chopsticks and making a loud noise.
Eun-yul put all the rice in the food, peeled the rice off her fist, and ate it, recalling what Kang Ha-jun said over and over again.
The fact that Kang Ha-jun said he was thinking or imagining what I said became contagious.
* * *
Ha-Jun Kang grabbed the steering wheel with a stiff posture when his father called him in a bad mood. The house where Rep. Kang lives is a place he would not want to go to in his life if he could, but the reality was that they would not leave Ha-Jun Kang alone.
I looked at the familiar geography with sunken eyes, and when I got home, a sigh that I couldn’t hide escaped.
He rested his head on the headrest for a moment and closed his eyes, intending to get up when Representative Kang called again.
〈Even when we are apart, I think of you. When I wake up, I start thinking about whether you woke up. I’m trying to find out because I don’t know if this is a feeling that was created by heaven.〉
That’s what I said to Eunyul. In fact, Kang Ha-jun only thought about Eun-yul all day. From the time he opens his eyes in the morning until he goes to sleep at night, he’s all over it.
It was too much to say that just because I had raised Haneul well, but even if I tried not to think about it anymore, it wasn’t easy.
Because he comes to mind naturally, even if I’m not conscious of it.
〈I’m still confused. That’s why I said I would look into it more accurately, and if I look at you now, I think my mind will go in the direction I like.〉
The first emotion that came to Kang Ha-jun’s mind as he looked at Eun-yul’s embarrassed expression at what I said was regret.
I knew he didn’t like me. Still, I think it would have been nice if he had looked at me with a little bit of anticipation.
“I regret it… … .”
Maybe my mind was already tilted to one side without me realizing it?
“There is no need to rush.”
Kang Ha-jun exhaled and cleared his troubled mind. There is no need to rush to define your emotions. Rather, once I became certain, I thought it would be better to express how I felt to Eunyul at that time.
If your feelings go beyond just liking, it would be right to approach it cautiously.
Kang Ha-jun, who had been organizing his thoughts for some time, suddenly turned his head when he heard a knock on his car.
The white hand that knocked on the window disappeared, and a woman with an impressive white face poked her head in. She was smiling brightly and making a gesture asking him to roll down her window, so Ha-jun Kang looked elsewhere for a moment and half-heartedly rolled down the window.
“Why aren’t you going in? “Are you sure you were waiting for me?”
Kang Hye-joo was talking to her as if she was very happy to see her, but Kang Ha-jun did not even smile at her out of courtesy.
“Go in first.”
“Don’t do that, let’s go together. “It would be uncomfortable for you to go in alone, so wouldn’t it be better for you to come with me?”
Kang Hye-joo smiled and pointed out Kang Ha-jun’s uncomfortable feelings.
“Everyone is home now. “Kang Hye-seong is also here, so you just have to come.”
Kang Ha-jun, who saw Kang Hye-joo gesturing for him to come out, turned off the car and opened the door.
“Good idea.”
Kang Hye-joo approached Kang Ha-jun as if she wanted to put her arms around him, but couldn’t even try because of his pushing hand gesture.
“Isn’t that too much? “I’m the only person in this house who likes my brother, so can’t I be a little kinder to him?”
Kang Hye-joo hovered around Kang Ha-jun while pouting her lips.
“My mom is my stepmother, so it’s natural for her to hate my brother, and Kang Hye-seong is just like my mom.”
“Then what about you?”
Kang Ha-jun accepted it without turning his gaze forward.
“me? I am my stepmother’s daughter and Kang Hye-seong’s twin sister… … .”
So, Kang Hye-joo, who was saying that she couldn’t like Kang Ha-jun, pointed at herself with her index finger, opened her lips wide, and smiled.
“A nerd who likes his older brother.”
Kang Hye-joo, who had always liked Kang Ha-jun and did not hide her feelings, clung to him next to him.
“Honestly, he’s a handsome oppa, so why would I hate him? Besides, my brother may be blunt, but he’s not mean.”
Because of her endless talk, Kang Ha-jun could not continue thinking about Eun-yul.
“But what happened?”
When Kang Hye-joo belatedly asked to understand the situation, Kang Ha-jun opened the door without saying a word.
At that moment, something flew into his face and hit him.
“Caw!”
Kang Hye-joo was startled by what happened in an instant and screamed, and Kang Ha-jun stayed still despite the headache that came over his face.
