Chapter 489
I have too many thoughts.
On the other hand, Artha has no idea.
So when I said that such a difference existed, Arta nodded as if she agreed to some extent.
“Strictly speaking, I don’t think much of it. Not that I’m stupid, of course.”
“no. You’re honestly a bit of an idiot.”
“Hey, Lena… … . Why am I stupid?”
“Did you forget? You were hanging off a cliff to play hide and seek with Ellen, and she fell and broke her leg?”
“Oh no! when to talk… … !”
Isn’t that crazy, not stupid?
I barely managed to crumple a word that came out of nowhere. Arta’s face reddened due to the sudden black history.
“no… … ! That’s because if Ellen played anything, she would win, so she did it because she wanted to win at anything… … !”
“So you’re an idiot. Even if Ellen hadn’t found you off the cliff, she might really be dead. To put it bluntly, I even clung to the cliff because I wanted to win, but because Ellen found you, I couldn’t win.”
“… … .”
Lizaira’s little ones were also spectacular to play with.
The guy clenching his teeth and clinging to the cliff to try to overcome it, or Ellen looking for it again.
“Anyway, when I think of Arta’s troubles from long ago, there’s no end to it. Mostly, they were accidents caused by forceful efforts to win against Ellen.”
“The old story… … . stop… … .”
“Do you know what happened before?”
As Lena talked, she seemed excited and began to recite the story of Arta’s accident.
The story of how I nearly drowned while holding my breath during a diving competition in a valley.
A story about a person who climbed a tree to steal a bird’s egg and fell and broke his head.
The story of how I passed out from the waterfall where I was zazen while following Ellen’s diving and got into my stomach instead of my head.
The story of how I got angry at losing to Ellen while learning swordsmanship, so I swung a wooden sword and got hit in the stomach and fainted.
As I listened, it was almost all about Ellen.
He was such an unusual guy even when he wasn’t a Dum-Dum-Chung, so Ellen won everything when he did something, so Arta was resentful and tried to win far and wide, but it was such a story that he broke himself.
Hearing about Ellen’s past from her childhood friends gave me quite a new impression.
Even when I was young, I thought that a genius was a genius.
I can feel the sadness of childhood friends who have such a genius as their friend.
Of course, you said the arms are bent inward.
If you imagine Ellen as a child playing so violently with the kids, something.
something
I felt my heart tickle.
If you think that Ellen, who always has a hardened expression, wasn’t like that at all in the past.
I wonder what it would have looked like in real life.
I think it’s cute.
But when I thought about it, I couldn’t help but feel depressed.
No matter what I think of Ellen, no matter what Ellen thinks of me.
Because our relationship always comes to the conclusion that it can’t go back to the way it was.
“Anyway, I can’t count how many times you’ve been injured trying to imitate Ellen or win. You have to follow what should be followed.”
“stop… … . stop… … .”
Depending on what you think, Ellen could be an unlucky childhood friend, but these two didn’t seem to have that kind of feeling for Ellen.
“Arta is really a guy who only looks ahead. He doesn’t know what will happen to him later, and he just wants to beat Ellen and imitate him, so he ends up getting hurt.”
Arta could not refute Lena’s disastrous declaration.
“By the way, Reinhardt, you’ve said it before, but you seem to be thinking too much.”
I have a lot of thoughts.
That is also what I kept hearing from Lena and Arta.
A clear mind, a calm image, and a calm mindset.
It was actually only getting more and more difficult to maintain.
It’s been well over a month and a half since he left Edina.
And I still don’t even know when I’ll be able to leave this place with satisfactory achievements.
I don’t even have a chin for the next month.
then two months? Or three months?
If I leave Lizaira defeated by insecurity, I will never come back.
Now I know what Luna meant.
I cannot achieve the next achievement if I am restless because I cannot endure anxiety and nervousness. You have to be able to overcome this situation and move on to the next step.
Even if you can reach the master class at best, you cannot use your full strength if you lose in fear and fear in the final fight.
So, Luna is teaching.
If you can’t keep your composure in this situation, it will be obvious later on.
No matter how nervous or anxious you are, you have to endure and reach the next level, and make that power completely yours.
So, it forces you to spend a frantic amount of time shutting yourself off from all outside information.
Even so, my nervousness and anxiety because of things I don’t know have grown, not diminished.
So, I could focus my mind on the ultimate refined magical power enhancement, but I was in an environment where it was difficult to get used to it because of the anxiety that amplified over time.
The problem is that there are too many thoughts.
However, I can’t do that if I don’t want to think.
I feel like I am being told that rice is not everything in life when my throat is grape juice.
I think I’m going to run out of breath, but if I tell you to calm down, that’s what it will be.
“But in this case, wouldn’t it be better to do things like Arta?”
“… … .”
“Nothing gets better by worrying about next year’s drought while harvesting this year’s potatoes.”
I knew at least that Lena wasn’t wrong.
“If you think too much, you end up thinking about useless things. So why don’t we forget about other things for a while and focus on what needs to be done?”
At those words, I felt like I was being taken aback.
A lot of people have said that to me.
It was also something I said at one point.
After the first murder in the Dark Lands.
Ellen had said, bloodied, holding my face and looking me straight in the eyes.
Now is not the time to think.
So let’s do what we have to do first.
Harriot told me after the gate incident.
Now is not the time to think, let’s do what we have to do.
I have thought so too. So, I tried to move forward one step at a time.
However, now that I have left my responsibility, I have lost the mindset I had until now.
It didn’t happen, but I was anxious about something that might happen.
I am nervous about this situation itself, which is cut off from the outside world.
Even though I know it can’t solve anything, I keep thinking about it obsessively.
Luna said that I had become sick because I had endured so long.
Lena says that you don’t have to think about things you don’t have to think about right now.
I don’t know if Luna is right or Lena is right.
However, it is true that the anxiety and impatience I feel cannot solve any problems I have.
Arta only thinks about what is in front of her nose.
The goal was to maintain magical power enhancement for a long time, so she only focused on strengthening magical power.
I have to do the same.
It’s meaningless to think about how many months later I’ll be able to get used to this power, or what the situation will be like outside.
You can’t get an answer by worrying.
only action.
You can only get results through action, so you should stop worrying about unanswered questions.
“okay. I’ll try that.”
peace of mind.
Getting peace of mind in a situation where the mind can be peaceful doesn’t mean anything to me right now.
To have peace of mind even in situations where there can never be peace.
That is the clear view index that I need, and the unwavering mind.
* * *
I think you should not think.
The fact that you shouldn’t think is already a thought.
I wonder if this is nonsense, but I’m actually doing it.
To not think is not to think that you must not think, but literally to not think.
However, the obsession not to think about a person whose head is about to explode because of too many thoughts only intensifies neurosis.
And, when you think about it, you naturally have no choice but to move on to thinking about what you shouldn’t think about.
Then I go to the stage where I think about things I shouldn’t be thinking about now, and I return to the starting point with the thought that I shouldn’t think about those things again.
The cartwheel of thought, the Möbius strip itself, that seems to go out of mind rolls.
“Mother, what should I do to stop thinking?”
“… … ?”
No, you have your own way of thinking, and that’s what you’re trying to do! Or teach me something!
“Do you want to go somewhere with me tomorrow?”
Finally, do you want to tell me something?
* * *
next day.
The expectation that Luna would finally teach me something was shattered in the morning.
– ironclad
Luna entered the warehouse and heard something rummaging around.
“Listen.”
What she took out of the shed was a shovel, a pickaxe, an ax and a forklift.
“… … Didn’t you want to teach me swordsmanship or meditation?”
“I don’t think I said that.”
Luna grabbed a shovel, I picked up a pickaxe and an axe, and lifted the fork.
And I quietly followed behind Luna, who was leading the way.
Luna crossed the hillside bordering Lizaira and walked all the way to somewhere.
And the place I arrived at was somewhere on the hillside.
“I need to create a new farmland. It will take a long time, so take heart.”
“… … yes?”
“Didn’t you ask how not to think?”
Luna pointed to this place that was no different from the middle of the forest.
“There is nothing better to relieve one’s thoughts than to do too many things.”
no.
this guy is real
They say to make a new field, is this correct?
Doesn’t this suck?
“For now, cut down the trees in the area and move them to the village. After that, I will have to pull out all the roots.”
It’s not just on the ground, it’s the work of turning the forest into a field.
“However, don’t use holy relics.”
no.
Isn’t that too much!
“mother… … . is this right?”
“Hmm… … .”
At my words, Luna crossed her arms and tilted her head slightly as she looked at me.
“Even though I tell you not to do it, my mother keeps telling me not to do it, so why not treat you like a son when you actually act like a son instead of just talking?”
“ah.”
Luna smiles at me.
“Son, go to work.”
in my mind
i passed over
* * *
Luna started to make her work, saying that she should play the role of a son.
In rural areas, children have the right labor force, so I couldn’t deny that.
Luna told me to work and left me in the forest area outside Lizaira and quickly went away.
It’s not just a grassy plain, it’s a forest.
If I cut down all the trees in this forest and even cut the firewood, I’ll have all the trees for Lizaira this year.
This isn’t just about making arable land, it’s about eating pheasants and eating eggs, making me make a new arable land and at the same time making a lot of trees, isn’t it?
There was even a condition not to use holy relics.
I see the forest in front of me and the ax, pickaxe, shovel and fork lying next to me.
They cut down these trees, cut them down one by one, carry them on a fork, and go back and forth between Lizaira.
You have to cut down all the trees and pull out the roots somehow.
When the work is done, you have to turn the ground with a pickaxe and remove all the small roots to make it good for farming.
that.
Can we finish it before winter, right?
He said his mouth was straight.
After saying useless things, it seems that I will not be able to go back to Edina within this year.
“Hmm… … .”
I’ve never cut down a tree as a sacred object, of course not. Of course, since Luna told me not to use holy relics, she had no intention of using holy relics.
First of all, I had to cut down the trees, so I picked up an axe.
I’ve cut a lot of monsters, and it’s creepy, but I’ve also cut people.
But, of course, I’ve never used an axe.
do the tree
I know in my head that it’s hard work, but I’m someone.
It is a monster that has a strength value of 26 or higher and an A+ rank without magical enhancement, and can demonstrate power of S rank or higher when magical enhancement is added.
I don’t know if this work can make me forget my anguish and bring me clear images.
But something must be done.
“Whoa… … .”
Concentrate your mind and use extremely refined magical power enhancement.
power is enough
The important thing is not to simply cut down trees, but to become accustomed to sophisticated magical power enhancement.
In a highly concentrated state, use magical power enhancement and chop trees.
There are many trees.
I don’t know if I’ll get used to this power if I knock down all these trees.
I take that one step
quiet breathing.
In the wind blowing and the distant chirping of birds.
“Suck!”
I aimed my ax at the tree and swung it.
– Jjaeok!
It’s broken.
“uh… … ?”
Not a tree, but a sack.
