Chapter 324
Sinners do not speak.
That’s why Reinhardt didn’t say anything, just staring at him.
Ellen also walked without saying anything.
So, with the two of them keeping a reasonable distance, Ellen walked a little ahead, and Reinhardt followed.
The festival lasts until the weekend. So, although there were fewer people because it was night, the main street was full of bright lights. The two of them walked up the hill near the Royal Class, looking at the night view.
The two walked for a while.
We didn’t run together, but the two of us ran every morning. That’s why it was a place I saw every day, so I was familiar with it even at night, and we both knew where it led to.
The two walk a path they know each other well.
At the top of the bench with a good view, Ellen took her seat first, followed by Reinhardt carefully.
“I didn’t ask you to sit down.”
“Uh, uh uh.”
Ellen’s words frightened Reinhardt, and he got up terribly as he put his butt on.
Seeing Reinhardt startled, Ellen laughed.
“What does it matter whether I ask you to sit down or not?”
“that… … . eww… … . that is.”
“Just sit down.”
I look at it so seriously that it is not an answer. As if I had made such a big mistake.
Seeing Reinhardt sitting next to her, Ellen calmly looked down at the night view of the temple.
Did Reinhardt make such a big mistake?
why is that wrong
Ellen couldn’t exactly explain why.
However, he felt as if the whole world had abandoned him. It was sad and sad.
Not really.
Rather, the whole world chose him, and only one abandoned him.
Why did I feel like the whole world had abandoned me?
That would be because Reinhardt was no different from his whole world.
Ellen sees flowers falling in front of her eyes.
no.
It wasn’t a flower.
“eye… … .”
“… … That’s right.”
Suddenly, it was snowing.
Snow, like white blossoms, gradually falls.
It’s not a very friendly situation.
Because we don’t know what to say to each other, and if we do one wrong thing, we might end up hurting each other.
Reinhardt did not know how to explain his situation.
Ellen doesn’t know how to explain her wounds.
Both of them just kept silent, knowing that if they said anything wrong, they would get into a big fight.
Eventually.
what are you
for what you are
Because what are we?
When those words start coming out, you know that each other has no choice but to hurt each other.
They both don’t say anything.
snowy winter night.
Ellen and Reinhardt sit on a bench and stare at each other.
Because it was cold, the snow on the ground did not melt.
Scary to fall to the ground, snow drifts somewhere when the wind blows.
Like that, they are driven by the wind and piled up in a corner.
Snow is like that.
“… … .”
“… … .”
what are we
How did it happen?
Where did something go wrong that caused it to become this way?
Elle thought about it, but couldn’t figure out where the starting point was.
When Reinhardt passed out after being hit in the head by his training sword during the first sparring of swordsmanship class?
When Reinhardt, who had fainted, woke up and asked to eat a strange food he had never heard of before for lunch?
When Reinhardt started interfering with himself who kept eating something at dawn?
When was the first time you fed yourself?
Or, when he couldn’t stand the numerous interference and started teaching him swordsmanship?
Or after going to the Dark Lands and going through terrible things?
Ellen goes back one by one and finally realizes.
Things that could be called beginnings are scattered everywhere, and they piled up and piled up to become something.
Snow is accumulating.
You can clear the accumulated snow.
The accumulated time cannot be removed.
That’s why, the time when the name tag Reinhardt was attached to the space of the heart piled up.
piled up and piled up
Ellen’s heart was filled with the time when Reinhardt’s name tag was attached.
Now, I’d rather hate you.
Ellen didn’t like that.
Even if I fill the empty space in my heart with hatred and regret for Reinhardt, there are too many empty spaces.
I want to hate you, but I can’t.
And it was strange.
I already know.
Even if Reinhardt couldn’t tell me, he was very sorry.
To the extent that his hands and face were blushing red, the very act of idly killing time outside.
I can’t explain anything about making myself sad again, so I’m sorry for that.
It is you who is upset.
For some reason, Ellen seemed to be having a harder time with Reinhardt.
I could see that he was suffering because he couldn’t even say sorry.
Ellen wondered what was giving Reinhardt a hard time. But, as she always did, Reinhardt wouldn’t tell.
“There was no need for you to come and see.”
“… … uh?”
Ellen says so.
“You didn’t have to come to see it, you did.”
Ellen quietly says so. The two do not have such an obligation to each other.
“therefore… … . don’t be so sorry… … .”
Insinuatingly, there was no need for Reinhardt to feel obligated to what Ellen had said, and there was no need for Reinhardt to feel so guilty for failing to keep it. Ellen has no reason to feel sad.
Reinhardt looked at Ellen quietly.
It’s not like nothing.
I look at Ellen, who pretends nothing is wrong.
– Warak
“ah.”
Reinhardt suddenly embraced Ellen.
“just… … . angry… … .”
“… … .”
“What you are holding back… … . scarier… … . I’m more sorry… … .”
“… … .”
My head judged that there was no reason to be angry, but in my heart, I had no choice but to be angry and sad.
Is it okay for us to be angry and sad at each other over these things?
Ellen wasn’t sure.
However, Reinhardt was hugging him.
Rather it was colder.
Her body and hands were cold from how long she had been outside, and Ellen was even colder as they hugged her.
However, while shivering from the cold, Reinhardt rather hugged him.
I don’t know what happened, but I’m so sorry.
that he would suffer more
If that was the case, it would have been absolutely unavoidable.
Ellen convinces herself.
People don’t understand what they can understand.
understand what you want to understand
Ellen wanted to understand Reinhardt now. So, she understands deep down that something important must have happened.
It’s so hard, but I understand that there must have been something important.
Ellen gritted her teeth in the arms of cold Reinhardt.
Reinhardt’s shirt gets wet little by little.
“Sorry… … I did it… … .”
“Sorry.”
“me… … . heat… … . try hard… … . try hard… … . preparation… … I did.”
Reinhardt hugged Ellen while Ellen shuddered, held her breath, and cried little by little, interrupting her words.
“no matter how… … . No matter how many cars you find… … uh. no… … . doesn’t exist… … . I don’t have… … . black… … . ugh… … . please… … . Please come… … did, did… … . you did… … .”
“Sorry… … .”
Ellen thinks while crying.
It would be Reinhardt who should be comforted, not me.
Still, I couldn’t stop the tears.
Tears are just like that.
* * *
It was a deep, dark night.
After crying for a while, Ellen fell from Reinhardt’s arms.
Then, he was staring blankly down at the temple.
“… … .”
Reinhardt didn’t tell me what had happened, and Ellen didn’t bother to ask.
Naturally, Reinhardt was restless.
After crying for a long time, Ellen suddenly stopped and stared blankly at the night view. I wonder if my mind is still unresolved, I want to know what to do.
The reality is quite the opposite.
Ellen was gritting her teeth.
Not because of anything else, but because I’m ashamed.
It’s because after the emotions were released, I realized what I had done.
I went to a beauty pageant, but my friend didn’t come, so I was sad as if the world was going to ruin. After crying for a long time, I finally realized what I had done.
It might not come.
After feeling better, it was Ellen who was having a hard time enduring this situation.
That’s why Ellen couldn’t say this or that and just stared blankly at the night view with a hard expression on her face.
I don’t understand why I felt empty as if I had lost the whole world with just this.
There was no Reinhardt.
It made me feel like the world had abandoned me.
Right now, Reinhardt is by my side.
At least because of that, I was fine.
Ellen immediately glared at Reinhardt.
It’s okay, so now I’m grumpy for no reason.
“Uh, that… … . why. what to say… … there is?”
He was stumbling around with the feeling that he would do anything if Reinhardt, who was still very low-key, told him to do so.
‘I must have you.’
The grumpiness I had for no reason was relieved just by looking at that face again. Ellen got up from the bench.
It is snowing.
If you think of Reinhardt’s body that is like an ice field, you can no longer stay outside.
“Are you cold?”
“It’s okay, this much.”
Walking back, Ellen looked over at Reinhardt.
“You’ve been outside ever since.”
I was waiting outside to notice, but it was supposed to be colder because I was walking around outside.
Reinhardt was just walking as if he was fine.
“You can go in if it’s cold.”
Ellen says that because she wants Reinhardt to catch a cold.
“… … I just want to be with you too.”
“ah.”
At those words, Ellen’s heart skipped a beat.
It just sounds like nothing.
I think I used to say things like that.
I end up thinking about anything for no reason.
Ellen wondered if she was crazy.
Just a little while ago, I was lonely and suffering, as if I had been abandoned by the world.
It was a strange feeling, like I had the whole world now.
Being a human being, is it okay for my mood to come and go in an instant like this?
Can one person feel like everything to me?
If that person smiles, I like it too.
If that person likes me, then I like it too.
Could all my feelings be from just one person? Is it okay if the owner of my life is not me but someone else?
The two of them walk on a snowy night street.
Going downhill, Reinhardt looked sideways at Ellen and said.
“You be careful. Then it slipped away!”
-bang!
“????”
Seeing Reinhardt fall backwards on the downhill after trying to warn him not to slip, Ellen tried to help Reinhardt up.
– Slippery!
“!”
– Boom!
While trying to do so, he also slipped and hit his buttock.
“… … What are you doing, you or me?”
“I know… … .”
The two got up and brushed their butts.
Maintaining a reasonable distance, the two walk through the snowy streets at night.
Down the hill, the sound of people reveling in the glitzy night view of Main Street could be heard in the distance.
Food is sold at stores that are open 24 hours a day, even at night. Ellen quietly looks at the distant night view and Reinhardt alternately.
“… … I want to go?”
Ellen nodded quietly, her cheeks open.
“… … huh.”
says Ellen.
I don’t necessarily want to go at this time, I want to go because it is at this time.
the night of the first snow.
because we are together
“If you want to go, go.”
The end of the festival was drawing to a close.
It’s not the last night, but it’s close to the end.
But Ellen felt that the festival had just begun.
It’s only now that we’ve reached the end and can be alone with Reinhardt. Ellen feels the festivities.
* * *
It was past midnight, but the main street was packed with people.
Because it is inside the temple, drinking is impossible, but because it is during the festival period, there are plenty of things to see and enjoy even at midnight.
of course.
-omnyomnyom
In Ellen’s case, though, it was limited to food.
“This is delicious.”
“Uh, yes.”
Ellen handed Reinhardt a skewer of rice cake with a puzzled expression, and Reinhardt ate it without saying a word.
Some feelings similar to anger but not anger have already been released. However, Reinhardt still followed Ellen by her side without saying anything, as if she still considered herself a sinner.
It wasn’t particularly friendly.
The two of them would walk the streets, look at this and that, watch street performances, and buy food from food stalls.
Of course, Ellen was a bit special today.
-That person, isn’t that him?
-uh? I know.
Reinhardt could not help but listen to the whispers around them.
When a group of men and women on the street cautiously approached and blocked his way, Reinhardt frowned as he did.
“What was your business, blocking the way to people… … .”
“Aren’t you Miss Temple?!”
Reinhardt froze at the sudden words, and Ellen nodded calmly.
“yes.”
“what?”
“Uh, somehow… … . Even wearing plain clothes seems to shine!”
Seeing Ellen, who calmly acknowledged it, and the crowd making a fuss, claiming that he was right, Reinhardt lost his senses.
“you… … . Were you elected?”
Reinhardt muttered blankly as if she hadn’t imagined it at all, and Ellen’s mouth began to pop out as she saw Reinhardt’s astonished reaction.
“… … Then why not?”
“Oh, no. That, that’s not it.”
Ellen, whose mouth was open, strode ahead as if she had pouted.
* * *
A cup of warm lemon tea was enough to calm Reinhardt’s upset Ellen.
“No, of course it wasn’t that he didn’t know how to fall, he didn’t say anything… … . I thought it fell.”
“okay.”
The two were sitting on a bench drinking warm lemon tea. Not only at the contest site, but also at the actual parade, so there were quite a few people with good eyesight on the street who recognized Ellen in plain clothes.
Even though no one spoke to them directly, there were many whispering as they passed by.
– Isn’t that Miss Temple?
– I guess so.
– On the side? is it your boyfriend?
-… … shit.
-… … No, I’m sorry, so what are you going to do?
-No, who said what?
– Arthur, Miss Temple, and even the royal class.
-really?
As they passed by, everyone looked at Ellen and said one word at a time, and Reinhardt next to him couldn’t help but listen.
Ellen’s mouth was slowly sticking out in a different way than before.
“bothered.”
It seemed like it was annoying for people to recognize me. Ellen didn’t care about that at all.
I just thought it was annoying because people recognized me.
This year’s Miss Temple, who received cheers and applause from countless people and wore a pure white dress, was walking around the streets of the winter night wearing a black tracksuit that night. While showing off that it’s annoying for people to find out.
Ellen glares at Reinhardt.
“It’s all because of you.”
“thing… … . uh. sorry… … .”
Reinhardt didn’t know what to do at the glaring gaze, as if he hadn’t achieved what he wanted, but only had side effects.
Ellen and Reinhardt walked off the main street, probably bothered by people noticing, whispering, and even talking to them from time to time.
It was also night, so once you get off the main street, the crowds are very thin.
It was snowing, so snow was slowly accumulating on their heads and shoulders.
“Miss Temple… … . that was elected Congratulations.”
“… … It means nothing.”
“… … Is it?”
Since it was Ellen who competed with other things in mind, I didn’t even want to hear congratulations. especially in that mouth.
The more they walked, the more snow accumulated on their shoulders and heads.
“Stay still.”
“… … ?”
Reinhardt, who had been walking for a while, stopped Ellen and brushed the snow off her shoulders and head.
I was just about to walk back, thinking it was just that, but Ellen saw Reinhardt’s shoulder.
Even there, snow was piled up.
I don’t even think about shaking off the snow that has accumulated on my shoulders and head, and I shake off the snow that has accumulated on my shoulders.
Probably, I couldn’t even think of it.
I can see the snow on Ellen’s head and shoulders, but I don’t think there’s snow on her shoulders either.
That’s why I look at Reinhardt and Ellen, who can’t even shake it off.
“… … why?”
“… … .”
Ellen quietly brushed the snow off Reinhardt’s shoulder and head this time.
Then, Ellen says softly.
“You’re a fool.”
“… … suddenly?”
Reinhardt, who was suddenly bewildered as if he was talking about something, walked beside Ellen in line with Ellen’s footsteps.
Reinhardt is a strange guy.
“You are strange.”
“… … I don’t hear much.”
Ellen walks quietly.
“I thought you were a strange person from the beginning, and I still think you are strange.”
“… … Is it?”
Ellen lets out a white breath and takes a sip of lemon tea.
Maybe it was because I had been holding it for quite some time, so it was a bit cold.
“But the strangeness of when I first thought you were strange, and the strangeness of thinking of you now… … . It seems too different.”
“… … .”
It was strange to see Reinhardt crashing into anything and arguing.
However, as time passed, Reinhardt now, who learned a lot about Reinhardt, was a very strange person in a different sense from then.
“It would have been nice if you weren’t a strange person. I even think so… … .”
Ellen sighed and looked at Reinhardt.
“If you weren’t weird, this wouldn’t have happened.”
Ellen muttered to herself. Ellen turns her gaze away from Reinhardt, and she looks back in front of her.
“Did you want to come today?”
“Of course… … .”
“Don’t be vague.”
Ellen stopped walking and turned Reinhardt over.
Then he looked straight at Reinhardt.
As if asking for a clear answer, Ellen looked at Reinhardt.
It is a relationship filled with ambiguous words.
I always said it in a roundabout way, fearing that something would break if something was certain. Reinhardt and Ellen had a strange relationship, which meant that they could not be nothing without being nothing.
I was trying to make something clear, but Reinhardt couldn’t come, so it became vague.
However, I want to make this as clear as possible.
Ellen looked straight into Reinhardt’s eyes, as if telling her not to avoid answering.
Ask directly.
“Did you miss me today?”
“… … .”
I won’t follow what didn’t come.
I won’t even ask what happened.
Because I won’t say more about sorrow and sadness.
Ellen demands definitive answers.
“uh.”
Reinhardt nodded.
But Ellen has no intention of stopping there.
“how much?”
At that question, Reinhardt looked at Ellen quietly.
After thinking about it for a long time, Reinhardt seemed to be unable to win.
Open your mouth as if to tell.
“… … I think I will regret it for the rest of my life. You couldn’t go today.”
“… … .”
forever.
regret.
Regret isn’t a nice word, but the combination of those two words resonates quite well.
forever.
You are a person who can influence my whole life.
It seemed like I had heard something like that.
“Shall I show you?”
“uh.”
At Reinhardt’s immediate response, Ellen burst into laughter without even realizing it.
It was such a stupid expression.
I really wanted to come.
I really couldn’t help it, so I couldn’t come.
There is no need for numerous excuses and reasons.
The answer that jumps out and a stupid expression when you ask if you want to show it.
That expression wiped out every last trace of Ellen.
* * *
The two returned to the dormitory.
“Strange.”
-… … how weird is that
“I can’t wear it alone.”
-ah… … . I guess so.
Ellen ended up in a mess trying on the dress she was wearing today in her room alone.
I couldn’t tighten the corset by myself, so the dress was loose, as if it had been roughly rolled up.
She said she would show it, but on the way back, Ellen realized something was wrong.
It’s the dress that Riana helped wear in the first place. So, Ellen realized that on her way back she couldn’t wear any clothes at all.
I thought it would work somehow, so I went back to the dormitory and tried to put on the dress I was wearing today in my room, but I realized that it was impossible.
It wasn’t Reinhardt who fell for the mood, but Ellen.
I couldn’t wear makeup and let my hair loose, so all my worries were useless.
It is a garment that cannot be worn alone.
It’s dawn, so I can’t even wake up Liana who is sleeping.
I look in the mirror and see myself in a mess, with clothes literally hanging over my body.
I couldn’t show this.
“… … .”
I wondered how it worked, and the end ended up like this.
can’t show
Ellen was just resentful.
disassembled
I stomped my feet on the floor.
-thud! thump thump!
– Why, why ?!
“no.”
Ellen, in a fit of heartache, tried to take off the dress she had barely worn.
Of course, a dress is difficult to put on and difficult to take off.
– Knocked up!
In the end, Ellen’s foot got twisted and she fell.
“… … .”
– What’s the matter?
