13th
Iron Tier Adventurer Hassan
013 –
Kissit, kissit!
“The goblins are coming this way! Brother, what should we do?”
Goblin.
According to the folklore of this world, the gods created humans from strange clay-like things and then carelessly shook the mud from their hands onto the floor.
The fallen dirt, along with the cold air remaining on the ground, combined with all sorts of thoughts to create beasts and monsters. Of these, the ugliest monster would definitely be the goblin.
I don’t know if the story is true or not, and I don’t really want to know.
I also completely agree that goblins are ugly creatures.
Wrinkled green skin. The body, roughly draped in a giant blanket, is small like a child, but surprisingly has strong, elastic muscles.
Kissishit!!
Kishiki!
What is most troublesome about them is their excessive and vicious aggression towards humans and other living things.
“Whoa-!”
The group is ambushed by a dozen goblins. Luna in particular screams and stamps her feet, almost making her dizzy.
“Eek! Goblin! You’re annoying!”
Kissit, kissit.
Whether it was the scream that drew the aggro or not, all the goblins’ eyes under the moonlight were visible, focused on the woman in the large mask.
Goblins are ruthless monsters, but they are so clever that they can use the strongest tactic, the encirclement and destruction formation.
They instinctively know that in order to destroy a group, they need to aim for a hole. In many ways, Luna is a hole.
“Why, why are you coming this way! Ugh!”
Luna stumbles backwards and ends up falling down badly. Taking advantage of this gap, the goblins rush in and start clawing and scratching at her clothes, mask, and flesh.
Kissit, kissit!
KISS! CASSET!
“Aaah!!”
A bloody battle broke out in the ruined temple under the moonlit night, triggered by that scream.
Crap!!
“Hey, you little brat!”
Even though he has a body like a child, I can clearly feel his murderous intent. That little shit is definitely making fun of me.
“Get behind!”
I pull out my dagger from my waist and stab the rushing goblins in the neck.
Crunch-.
The sensation of a well-mannered blade piercing the guy’s neck and cutting through his muscles is vivid.
After that, I felt dizzy from the smell of blood spraying out in all directions, but I thought that even time to appreciate it was a luxury, so I pulled out my sword and kicked the guy’s body with my foot, knocking him over.
Kkueek!
“You bastards, I’ll kill you all!”
Maybe it was the smell of blood and the excitement of battle that made my head spin and I was engulfed in excitement. There was nothing easier than violence to release the resentment and absurdity that had built up throughout my life.
First of all, the goblins themselves aren’t that strong monsters, so I can easily fight two or three of them on my own.
By the standards of the average adult male in this world, one or two goblins can easily be killed with bare hands. In other words, they are shit food compared to me.
So, if the remaining ten or so share hands with their colleagues… .
“My, my mask won’t work! Who, who can help me!!”
“The instrument is broken! My business capital! Mercury, what is this! Gu, gueek!”
“Ten, no! No! No, you guys! Why are there goblins here! This is the end of the world! I miss you, Titan!”
Shit. Except for me, there are two or three goblins attached to my body, and I look like I’m struggling in the ocean.
The sight of her screaming with her clothes and hair all torn off and her entire body wounded.
And that just makes the goblins go wilder, causing more injuries. Plus, it pisses me off, you fucking hopeless bastards!
“Get behind, Emma!”
He kicks a goblin in anger. The little demon floats into the air and falls to the ground.
Kishaaaat!
Kisshaat!
Cassette!
The goblins who saw their comrade’s injuries became even more agitated and rushed towards me.
I can’t understand the goblin cubs’ language, but it sounds like they’re making fun of me by saying things like “You’re so damn big!” and “So much food!”
I should be ignored by these half-dead bastards? That is unacceptable. You are still too young to treat me as dinner.
“You’re not ready yet.”
A short dagger that I have.
The cruel blade relentlessly slices through the goblins’ filthy, foul-smelling flesh, spraying blood.
Kiit… .
Boom-. Crunch-.
I stepped on the goblin’s neck as it writhed on the floor, snapping it, then opened my mouth and roared loudly.
“You guys are not ready yet!!!”
Kieek…!
The goblins flinched in awe at my courage. But it would be pointless to ask for forgiveness now.
I swear to my father on the electric blanket in my hometown that I will not let even one of these ugly devil’s seeds live!
Because goblin fangs are said to be traded for 1 copper each!
Roughly ten!
There are four canines in total per dog, one upper and one lower!
Fucking 40 Cooper, I’m rich!
Key, keyeeek!
Kieek!
The goblin cubs sensed my threat and stopped attacking their comrades. They all rushed to me and clung to me.
“What the heck, a siege!? You fucking bastards!”
Now it’s a complete mud fight. My hands are flailing around, trying to shove away what I don’t know is a goblin or something, and my feet are constantly trampling and kicking things.
Still, there are limitations.
Joo-wook, jjii-ik.
“Oh, it hurts! It hurts, oh, my clothes are ripping!”
Kieek!
Shit, even if it’s the same weight as a child, it hurts so much. Grabbing your head and poking your eyes, you can’t do that!
“I’ll help you, Hassan-! Guys, hurry up and go!”
As I was writhing and struggling in all sorts of pain, a high-pitched scream was heard from somewhere, and soon a booming sound like the propeller of a helicopter was heard.
In this world where there aren’t even a few carriages, let alone helicopters, there’s no way a propeller can turn.
Booooow-.
It was soon discovered that it was none other than the bees Luna had been keeping in her bag and leather flask, scurrying about and scurrying about.
Kekeke! Geeeeek!
“Ouch, it hurts! Ouch! Ouch! It stings so bad, damn it!”
“Ha, Hassan-!”
*
“I, I’m sorry, Hassan. But, I couldn’t help it. The bees don’t know who’s on our side. But thanks to that, the goblins ran away…”
“… .”
“Oh, okay, I’ll keep quiet. I got stung by a bee, but it didn’t swell up that much. I don’t think I need any antidote. Is that a Samaritan trait?”
“Be quiet.”
“Uh, uh… .”
In front of the crackling campfire, I was so busy removing the stingers from the bees that were stuck all over my body.
Not only were there stings, but his entire body was covered in scratches from goblins’ claws and tree branches.
What was most heartbreaking was that all my clothes were torn to pieces.
There must be a limit to how much you can make with rags. It was a leather outfit that I bought with 3 silver coins, saving up all the money I had when I was a slave.
I was giggling at the thought that I could wear it for a few more years since it had withstood Elfriede’s whipping, but it’s gone like this.
“Brother, here are twenty fangs from the five goblins that my brother killed. He fought so bravely. He slaughtered the small goblins so mercilessly, just like the savage giant soldier Cyclops! Ahhh-Cyclops. The one-eyed giant soldier-.”
The musician Malko started playing music while chanting. I didn’t even have the energy to scold him anymore, so I just kept my mouth shut.
If something pops out, I’m just going to run away. If I stay with these kids, I’m sure I’ll get blown up.
“I don’t know how there were goblins in a place like this. They may be stupid, but they never come in groups near human settlements. This is the first time in my seventy years of life that I’ve seen anything like this.”
From the singing musician to the questioning Dr. Platan, everyone’s impressions after the battle are different.
After checking for any worn or scratched areas or missing items, someone speaks.
“I’m hungry after moving around and singing. Since I’ve come this far, why don’t we share the food I brought? I brought some dry food in case the work gets long.”
“Oh, yeah, that sounds good! I also have mushrooms and other things I picked. I also have a pot and water.”
Suddenly, a group of people started taking out food items one by one from their packs. I didn’t bring anything because I was told that it would take half a day to pull out weeds.
“… Ha, Hassan is resting. We’ll take care of it ourselves. W-Don’t look this way, it’s scary.”
“The young savage has suffered a lot, so I guess it would be good to exempt him from night duty today. Does everyone agree?”
“okay.”
“There is no objection to this either.”
You’re saying I’ll be exempt from night duty? That’s a piece of cake. I’ll be able to sleep soundly.
After pulling out the last stinger embedded in my body, I lay down on my back near the campfire.
The trees in the forest swaying in the wind. The sky and stars beyond are incredibly beautiful.
The night sky was no different from the world I lived in, except that the stars were a bit brighter and there were two moons rising, perhaps because the ground was dark.
I started to feel depressed as I heard the bubbling sound of the pot and felt the stinging, tingling pain.
Why am I here? I miss my mom. I even miss my father and sister whom I hated so much.
“Sister, I think it’s time to eat now. I sang two songs, so I think it’s cooked just right. My song timing is accurate.”
“Yeah, I guess so. Hassan, eat some snacks. Grandpa, you should have a bite too, right?”
“I’m fine. You guys, eat a lot. I’m writing a paper on the health method of not eating at night and conducting a clinical trial. I also want to think about the recent goblin trend.”
Dr. Platan takes out a small scroll and begins to scribble something with a quill pen. Without further ado, his colleagues each transfer their portions from the pot to their bowls.
Slap.
I also got up from where I was lying. I saw a crumpled and dented pot. Inside it, I could see all kinds of mushrooms and herbs bubbling.
Kkugit.
Narrowing eyebrows.
“I see something strange among the mushrooms and herbs.”
“Ah! You noticed, Hassan! Oil toad. It’s a precious medicine that’s good for your health, but I made it especially for you who have suffered…”
What the heck, a stew with toads in it? Eating it would probably lower your SAN level.
But I was used to starvation, rolling around on the floor as a slave, and I had already lost the aversion to weird eating habits due to my father’s strict educational policy, so I ended up doing it that way.
“My foreign sister, no matter what, the toad… .”
“It’s delicious. It’s also good for healing minor wounds! It’s a popular ingredient at Ideophe! I can’t eat it because there’s no oil toads.”
“Well, then I’ll try it. Eeeeeeeeeee… It tastes so good that it reminds me of evil spirits… It tastes like toads swimming in my mouth.”
“Right? It’s delicious. Then I’ll try it too.”
Ssuk-.
Luna takes off the ridiculous mask she’s wearing on her face. It’s something she can take off.
I actually thought to myself that maybe Luna’s big mask was her real head.
The guy’s hair, revealed by the mask, was a pink color that came out of nowhere. The bangs were a little soaked with sweat, but the hair at the back of the head was tied up nicely into two pigtails.
“why?”
Emerald eyes met mine. They were cuter than I expected, so I briefly forgot my pain and resentment and held my breath.
Any pretty and cute woman steals a man’s five senses. That’s why men do stupid things for women.
The fact that Elfriede’s followers laughed at her foolishly following her beat.
Now that the curse of the two men has been lifted, the beauty of a woman is a fatal stimulus to me, so I can understand their feelings to some extent.
“Sister, I’m surprised you’re younger than I thought. How old are you?”
“I just became an adult this year. In Ideopae, you have to be an adult to go abroad.”
“You were a girl until recently, weren’t you? Do girls wear such promiscuous clothes at Ideopa? I really want to go there someday!”
“What, how messy! This is the traditional attire of our sorcerers. How old are you, and you have a nose?”
“It’s not Kojangi, it’s Malkora. You’ll be famous in the future and make a name for yourself, so it would be a good idea to memorize the name in advance. And I’m twenty-six this year.”
“What? I thought you were at least thirty years old!”
“Excuse me! Brother, do you think I look like a man over thirty?”
Malko’s large face came towards me with a shadow. I almost punched this little bastard, thinking he was a goblin.
“Uh, yeah, well, about that. Thirty-five or so?”
“It’s shocking!”
With his bushy beard and rough skin. I thought he was at least thirty, but he was the same age as me. That’s even more shocking.
Do the faces of people from another world not always match their age? Finley, Elfriede, and in a bad way, this guy too.
“How old is that brother?”
“I’m twenty-six too.”
“Oh my, this is amazing. I thought you were way older than me. You’re the same age as me. You can call me your friend. Brothers deserve that.”
What kind of friend are you, kid? Anyone can see that you’re the older brother.
I never thought I’d be considered older than this guy.
Actually, my face is currently untidy, so I have messy and unkempt hair like a locker, a beard that has grown wildly, scars, and rough, unmanaged skin that looks ugly.
It would be a truly horrifying sight, covered in goblin blood.
When I return to the city, I think I should go to a bathhouse or something to get my appearance in order. I noticed a bathhouse there when I was wandering around looking for the west gate.
I’ve been making a decent amount of extra income by catching goblins and cockroaches and such, so I guess a bath, a haircut, and a shave are acceptable luxuries, right?
Above all, maintaining cleanliness is very important to avoid getting sick.
… .
The night passed like that with chatter and singing, and morning came. It was time to clean the temple, which was something that had to be done.
We discovered something curious, with the vines clinging to the stone statues of the temple, the corpses of goblins strewn around, and the traces of a fire made while camping all buried neatly in the ground nearby.
“Brother, look at this. There is a strange sculpture inside the broken stone statue.”
“Hey, you son of a bitch! Don’t touch me!”
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